Karma: Gotta have Haith

Karma’s been looking for Frank Haith all year. Karma, despite its Hindu roots, seemed to take its cue from St Paul. Karma was patient. Karma was not boastful or arrogant or rude. Karma did not insist on its own way, it was not irritable or resentful. It believed all excuses and endured all delays. “What’s that,” Karma often said, “He’s not in? Did you tell him I called? It’s OK, I’ll be back.” Karma watched as Frank Haith, busy fingering his Calipari beads, rose high in the polls and stayed there for the whole season. University of Miami fans watched in disbelief as the coach who seemed incapable of rising above mediocrity was now supposed to be the next big thing. He had seemingly beat the odds and held off Karma, until today.

Mission fulfilled, Karma exits [at far right]

Karma delivers, then exits – see far right

Today Karma found Frank Haith on the sidelines of the NCAA Tournament as his 2nd seed Missouri Tigers faced the 15th seed Norfolk State Spartans. Karma approached Haith just after the opening tip-off and whispered:

Frank … it’s time … c’mon you know you don’t deserve this Frank … I’m here for Reggie Johnson and Scot Durand … did you really think you’d be allowed to make an NCAA Tournament run with a team loaded with 7 seniors while Larranaga cleans up your mess at UM? You can’t escape me or your career record Frank, that’s who you are.

Why didn’t you answer my calls Frank? Hurricane fans need some answers. Heck, your assistants from Miami need answers and lawyers. The NCAA wants answers, they’re not as patient as I am. But don’t worry Frank, after today you’ll have plenty of time.  Are you listening to me? Don’t bother calling a time out here, they’re gonna miss on their next two possessions. One last thing Frank, I’m gonna let this go down to the last shot.  We do that when it gets personal.

Don’t ask why Frank, it’s just the U.

For the details on the University of Miami’s grievances with Frank Haith, please see the blog post in the The Daily.

H/T to Tico for idea – Tico is widely recognized as the U’s #1 supporter in some of Coral Gables roughest neighborhoods.

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Restoration and Miamians

Marlins Park opened to a game between Miami’s most prominent Catholic boys high schools, Columbus and Belen on Monday night. Archbishop Thomas Wenski threw out the first pitch. The crowd consisted mostly of Catholic high school parents who have spent the better part of the last decade contributing to building funds which rarely produce actual buildings. Yet there we were, in a new stadium built over our old stadium located in the type of a neighborhood first generation Cuban exiles worked hard to leave behind. That was good.

Much was left behind. The type of things that couldn’t move. Churches, schools, cheap housing and one stadium. The mobility of second generation Cuban exiles was much appreciated by those who followed from Nicaragua, Colombia and Venezuela etc. Turns out they wanted and needed our Little Havana neighborhood. That was good. So was that one stadium.

The Orange Bowl was like some magical yearbook whose last page you never thought to imagine. Its history seemed to be the Miami’s history, mainly in sports, but also in music and politics. The new stadium would have been a hit anywhere it was built. But because it was built on the site of the Orange Bowl, it feels like more of a restoration. The transition from football to baseball almost incidental. That is good.

In standing on the mound for the first pitch, if Archbishop Wenski had turned towards first base, he would be about two miles away from another historic restoration of a Miami institution, Miami Senior High. That school, my high school, is one of the rare places in Miami which preceded even the Orange Bowl. When that restoration is complete sometime next year, that will be good.

If Archbishop Wenski had turned and faced center field, he could actually see the golden dome on top of one of the churches he leads which is about a half mile away. St John Bosco Catholic Church, my Parish, has in the last few years undergone its own restoration. While the old St John Bosco building was torn down and a beautiful new one erected fifty yards away, no one thinks of it as a new Parish for good reason.

G.K. Chesterton wrote in Orthodoxy:

I freely confess all the idiotic ambitions of the end of the nineteenth century. I did, like all other solemn little boys, try to be in advance of the age. Like them I tried to be some ten minutes in advance of the truth. And I found that I was eighteen hundred years behind it. I did strain my voice with a painfully juvenile exaggeration in uttering my truths. And I was punished in the fittest and funniest way, for I have kept my truths: but I have discovered, not that they were not truths, but simply that they were not mine.

To all these places I’ve felt a tribal allegiance of varying degrees over the years. I have come in and out of their buildings with pride and affection. But when I reflect on their longevity, survival and now restoration, I am forced to acknowledge the missing link in my ‘truths.’ My fellow Miamians. There would be nothing to call ‘mine’ without those who preceded and proceed me in all these places. The ones who surrounded me last night. People with whom I gladly go, adelante!

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Tolkien’s Stairway for Led Zeppelin

I was driving on SR-836 recently — in that auto-pilot state of mind which combines boredom with resignation that death is but a texter away — and I heard something on a local FM radio station which surprisingly got my attention. I heard these lyrics:

Mine’s a tale that can’t be told
My freedom I hold dear
How years ago in days of old
When magic filled the air
Twas in the darkest depths of Mordor
I met a girl so fair
But Gollum, the evil one, crept up
And slipped away with her

Led Zeppelin Manager pep talk: “Listen up guys. Whaddya say you chat up the fans about how this song is based on a classic novel by a Catholic professor from Oxford?”

Well to be more precise, at first I thought I heard “Mordor” and then positive I heard “Gollum.” Then cognitive dissonance arose because the radio LED and my brain indicated the band playing was Led Zeppelin. My knowledge of Led Zeppelin consisted of knowing that “Stairway to Heaven” was their greatest hit and that their appearance epitomized the impossibly skinny rock band-look which can only be achieved through dedicated drug use or bulimia.

More surprises, turns out it wasn’t just some throw away line. Documentation of the interest in J.R.R. Tolkien’s works by Robert Plant can be found in a wide array of sources, from The Catholic Report to the Metal Storm blog. Led Zeppelin had at least 4 songs which directly referenced Tolkien’s works — The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings — while the influence on “Stairway to Heaven” is not as direct, it still is considered likely:

  • Ramble On [1969]
  • The Battle Of Evermore [1971]
  • Misty Mountain Hop [1971]
  • Stairway to Heaven [1971]
  • Houses of the Holy [1973]

Hope I didn’t ramble on [ … ahh].

The lyrics to Ramble On are copied in full at end of this post.

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What Isolationists Conveniently Omit

Perception: The size and reach of U.S. military power is unnecessary in today’s world.

Reality: As U.S. military power diminishes, the vacuum will be filled by rival military powers, not some mythical democratic international arbitrator.

Robert Kagan – a Romney advisor – points out what isolationists like Ron Paul never seem to acknowledge:

But there is a danger in taking this wisdom too far and forgetting just how important U.S. military power has been in building and sustaining the present liberal international order.

That order has rested significantly on the U.S. ability to provide security in parts of the world, such as Europe and Asia, that had known endless cycles of warfare before the arrival of the United States. The world’s free-trade, free-market economy has depended on America’s ability to keep trade routes open, even during times of conflict. And the remarkably wide spread of democracy around the world owes something to America’s ability to provide support to democratic forces under siege and to protect peoples from dictators such as Moammar Gaddafi and Slobodan Milosevic. Some find it absurd that the United States should have a larger military than the next 10 nations combined. But that gap in military power has probably been the greatest factor in upholding an international system that, in historical terms, is unique — and uniquely beneficial to Americans.

The entire Robert Kagan article in the Washington Post is copied at end of this blog post.

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Inception’s Math Has No Mal-Function

Grigori Perelman

Grigori Perelman

It ain’t no Poincaré Conjecture, but figuring out if the movie Inception’s dream timelines make sense is as close as I’m coming to solving anything. So the only thing I likely have in common with the mathematician from St Petersburg who solved the hardest math problem of the 20th century — Grigori Perelman [pictured] was so upset that it took six years for lessor mortals to figure out what he had done that he refused to show up to accept a prestigious medal and a million dollars he was awarded — is that we are both divorced.

I actually don’t know for a fact that he is divorced, but given that he is described as a recluse who lives with his Mom, combined with the nearby photo, all point to a certain level of detachment.  Factor in the unclaimed money and I’m betting that somewhere in Russia there is a really angry divorce attorney and an ex-wife brandishing a newspaper clipping telling everyone, “see.” But to be fair, I am still a Match.com profile away from confirmation on this one.

Being a fan of Christoper Nolan when Inception was released in 2010 was like being a Scorsese fan when Goodfellas was released in 1990. Perfectly positioned to appreciate a film maker at his best. After I watched the complicated movie and heard that Nolan had worked on the script for about ten years, I had faith that the movie’s logic would hold up.  As any serious movie fan — aka Fellow Celluloid Freaks [FCF] — will tell you, we don’t mind fantasy as long it contains a semblance of logic.  Which is why laws of physics for Super Mario Brothers and cartoons in general are both proper and good.

Godfather Pausality

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Iranian Scientists for Ron Paul

Up and coming Iranian nuclear scientist, Asta-Qui Yege, had mixed feelings over his recent job promotion. Asta-Qui develops nuclear weapons to facilitate his country’s desire to kill infidels.  He moved up the org chart when his boss blew up [not in the viral sense].   His last four bosses actually. Iran’s parliament speaker Ali Larijani said that the four executions would not stop their “studies.” Asta-Qui was not available for comment [or lunch or dinner or walks in the park].

Asta-Qui did send word through untraceable channels [the pigeon supposedly took its own life and was then consumed] that Iran is a peace-loving nation, save for their desire to destroy Israel and settle accounts with Iraq and one of the Shah’s grandchildren who printed an offensive cartoon in a 1992 newsletter. He also threw his support, and that of nervous co-workers, behind Ron Paul’s presidential campaign.

Asta-Qui was surprised and quite pleased to hear that the intellectual underpinnings for the foreign policy of one of the United States presidential hopefuls was the non-Muslim Golden Rule. [Asta-Qui was initially confused and had inquired if gold played a role in all of Paul’s beliefs].

The Paul campaign was thrilled to sign up their first supporters with scientific backgrounds. Far from being embarrassed, the campaign is doubling-down on ‘sloganeering for dummies’ as legitimate policy prescriptions. Their new stance on how to eliminate waste, fraud and abuse is to urge all Americans to “waste not, want not.”

For Americans living outside of Area 51, there are important questions to be addressed prior to the implementation of Paul’s Golden Rule. Who are the ‘others.’ Who gets to define the ‘others,’ the State Department or the White House? If the ‘others’ are not technically governments but operate with their implicit permission can acts of retaliation be grandfathered in? Will a listing of Muslim-based medieval crimes and their most appropriate Western equivalents be available to guide retaliations? Failing that, it could take forever to implement a chopping of a hand despite adequate documentation of the initial chop and a notarized OSHA waiver on file.

As for Asta-Qui Yege, the sky’s the limit. In chunks.

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Effusive Christian 1 Unprosecuted Rapist 0

Tim Tebow’s team defeated Ben Roethlisberger’s team in the NFL Playoffs. The last time a rabid crowd witnessed such a contrast in character between competitors, Barabbas was released [not amnestied as first reported]. I was so happy that I felt an urge to slaughter the fatted neighborhood cat, fatted calf’s being nowhere to be seen. But I resisted that urge, which set the tone for the evening.

While sports in general and NFL playoff games in specific are not meant to be morality plays, it still feels good to witness people who have acted badly, criminally in Roethlisberger’s case, not continue to succeed on such a public stage. I assume it’s bad for the business of saving souls when louts, or worse, seemingly flourish.

While the defeat of a sports team obviously does not represent a punishment worthy of rape, any setback will do. People like Gerry Sandusky and Ben Roethlisberger indirectly help me by putting other sports emotions in perspective. For example, thanks to them I realize that the only place I hope to see Nick Saban suffer is at sporting events. For the likes of Sandusky and Roethlisberger, part of me hopes that their suffering only begins there.

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What Pittsburgh Steelers Fans Will Swallow

What will Pittsburgh Steelers fans who support Ben Roethlisberger swallow? They swallow their sense of right and wrong for the sake of enjoying their football unencumbered by their conscious. They do that when they defend Roethlisberger and denigrate a twenty year-old college student for not expecting to be treated like a prostitute at the end of an evening of drinking alcohol and sexual flirtation. I’ll say this for Roethlisberger, at least his sin, if not crime, came while intoxicated.  Steelers fans defense of  Roethlisberger is harder to understand.

A recent fun and occasionally heated [the 2 are related] sports argument began with a defense of Tim Tebow and ended up with my assertion that at least Tebow was not a rapist like Ben Roethlisberger. You will not be surprised that the family member I told this to is a Pittsburgh Steelers fan. He responded with the always solid advice of ‘put up or shut up.’  Given that one of my heroes, GK Chesterton, stated that even a bad shot is dignified when accepting a challenge, here it goes.  While writing a blog post destined to be read by friends and seen only briefly by dozens of others–who arrive courtesy of Google and Bing searches which were too general to be useful–may not qualify as ‘putting up,’ but it will have to do.

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Marlins representation: Turning a profit or turning the screws

For those looking for more blog posts about ‘Marlins Ballpark & Finances’ – please look in the ‘Categories’ box in the top right corner.

The Wall Street Journal weighed on on the SEC probe of the Marlins Stadium deal. I was most interested on their perspective on what the SEC probe could be expected to focus on. An excerpt:

A person involved with the ballpark’s financing said the investigation may revolve around the Marlins’ claims that the team needed public help because it could not afford to pay for a new ballpark.

The Marlins had argued that the team needed public help to shore up its finances. Financial documents published last year by the website Deadspin showed the team had been turning a profit.

Mr. Nortman, who teaches a class on SEC violations for Nova Southeastern’s law school in Fort Lauderdale, says the SEC will likely want to know whether the purchasers of stadium bonds were given full disclosure of the financial status of the borrowers involved, and also whether there may have been any “pay for play” involved on behalf of the parties.

Allow me to expand on “the team had been turning a profit.” According to Forbes — whose reporting the Deadspin financials validated — this is how the Marlins ranked among MLB teams in terms of operating profits in the years before, during, and after finalizing the Stadium agreement with local governments:

  • 2006 – $43 million – #1
  • 2007 – $36 million – #2
  • 2008 – $44 million – #1
  • 2009 – $46 million – #1

Appreciate the hurdle the Marlins face in defending themselves.  How to suggest that they did anything but misrepresent their financial condition?

See my recap of the Forbes Business of Baseball reporting on the Marlins from 2002 through 2010 [click here]. Each year is linked to the Forbes reporting for that year.

The WSJ article referenced is copied in full at the end of the post.

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Holiday Jeer

I have long pined for a hobby which allowed me to ridicule others while ostensibly serving a greater good.  Today at 12:43 pm, it came to me.  Actually it pulled up next to me.

I was slowly approaching the street light as I pulled off the I-95 Brickell exit.  To my left, a shiny foreign luxury car [Brickell Motors client no doubt] slowly glided alongside me.  The driver was a just past middle-age woman with an immaculate appearance, the look that screams realtor.  What really caught my attention, from my SUV perch, was the fact that the driver was intently focused for an extended period on the smartphone in her lap.

As she continued to glide and scan her smartphone, I was now perfectly situated in her blind spot.  I have rarely honked my horn with such glee.  The driver was startled, then annoyed.  With embarrassing satisfaction, I watched as she, not unlike an NFL quarterback, worked through her progressions. Had she drifted?  No.  Had she stopped too close to the car ahead?  No.  Had she been going too slow for the car behind her?  No.

Therein lies the beauty of this new weapon against careless drivers, the unidentified [due to disorientation] honker.  Under normal conditions, if we are honked at when we are not doing anything wrong, we might take a casual glance around.  But to the guilty and distracted mind of a smartphone-obsessed driver, there is always the possibility that they are about to glance up to a life, or deductible, challenging scenario.

So please dear and rare reader, whenever you observe the same, honk, then enjoy the momentary panic, as you drag another careless driver in from the abyss.  You’ll be doing good and bringing scorn to those who richly deserve it.

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