Tag Archives: Dwyane Wade

The Nanny State of mind on the Heat beat

If Miami Heat fandom were measured in Scientological verbiage, my Heat-Thetan levels would be off the audit charts. After victories I wallow in post-game interviews, podcasts and NBA filtered Twitter. After defeats, my self-enforced blackouts mirror the regimen of Dwyane … Continue reading

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Wade opts out, but its McRoberts who will go

All this grief because the guy with the hairline to the right was too embarrassed to walk around in the bright Miami sun after cosmetic surgery. Oy vey. Heat Hoops is a great resource for us Heat fans. His recent … Continue reading

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Miami Heat’s ideal post-season

Update on 06/18/15: Mark Stein finally reveals what most insiders were aware of, but were awaiting a book deal to disclose: … And we likewise saw LeBron emasculate Blatt in ways that are simply unbecoming of a player of James’ … Continue reading

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Heat fans need more eFG less OMG

In the upcoming NBA Finals game 4, the Spurs ‘effective field goal percentage’ [*eFG%] will very likely be at .500 or less. The Spurs have only beaten Miami once, last year’s game 1, when their eFG% was under .500. However, … Continue reading

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Haberstroh buries Simmons, not an urban legend!

‘Tom Haberstroh buries Bill Simmons’ was not the headline at ESPN, but it could have been. If it had been, the headline would have been more true to the substance of Haberstroh’s article than the headline they actually went with, … Continue reading

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If Bizarro NBA season continues …

Entering game 6 of the NBA Finals, I recap, in honor of Seinfeld and Sgt. Friday, some bizarro facts, ma’am: Defending NBA champions Considered by opponents, ‘Hollywood as hell’ Head coach turning 43 years old during year Team featured 3 … Continue reading

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Payback on Planet Bron

Dateline July 2031: Today marks the 10th anniversary of The Announcement — coming 10 years to the day of The Decision — that Aliens are real. Turns out they have long been among us and possess a bizarre sense of … Continue reading

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Dwyane Wade evolves into Rasheed Wallace

We knew that change was inevitable, but did Wade have to end up like Rasheed Wallace? To today’s equivalent of a young Wade, Giancarlo Stanton, we offer a cautionary tale. Like almost all Miami Heat fans since 2003, I quickly … Continue reading

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The Meeting That Made The Decision Possible

DISSOLVE TO: A garden, somewhere outside Schenectady: PAT O’RILEY So … Reinsdorf will move against you first. He’ll set up a meeting with someone that you absolutely trust … guaranteeing your ability to speak freely. And at that meeting, you’ll … Continue reading

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I Vote for Player of the Year

As an award. As fans, how and when did the MVP [in the grand tradition of other inferior winners, i.e. Windows & VHS] supplant Player of the Year [let’s have a big hand for those lovable losers, POY, Apple [operating … Continue reading

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