Holiday Jeer

I have long pined for a hobby which allowed me to ridicule others while ostensibly serving a greater good.  Today at 12:43 pm, it came to me.  Actually it pulled up next to me.

I was slowly approaching the street light as I pulled off the I-95 Brickell exit.  To my left, a shiny foreign luxury car [Brickell Motors client no doubt] slowly glided alongside me.  The driver was a just past middle-age woman with an immaculate appearance, the look that screams realtor.  What really caught my attention, from my SUV perch, was the fact that the driver was intently focused for an extended period on the smartphone in her lap.

As she continued to glide and scan her smartphone, I was now perfectly situated in her blind spot.  I have rarely honked my horn with such glee.  The driver was startled, then annoyed.  With embarrassing satisfaction, I watched as she, not unlike an NFL quarterback, worked through her progressions. Had she drifted?  No.  Had she stopped too close to the car ahead?  No.  Had she been going too slow for the car behind her?  No.

Therein lies the beauty of this new weapon against careless drivers, the unidentified [due to disorientation] honker.  Under normal conditions, if we are honked at when we are not doing anything wrong, we might take a casual glance around.  But to the guilty and distracted mind of a smartphone-obsessed driver, there is always the possibility that they are about to glance up to a life, or deductible, challenging scenario.

So please dear and rare reader, whenever you observe the same, honk, then enjoy the momentary panic, as you drag another careless driver in from the abyss.  You’ll be doing good and bringing scorn to those who richly deserve it.

About Jorge Costales

- Cuban Exile [veni] - Raised in Miami [vidi] - American Citizen [vici]
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