If Bizarro NBA season continues …

ClassicBizarroEntering game 6 of the NBA Finals, I recap, in honor of Seinfeld and Sgt. Friday, some bizarro facts, ma’am:

  • Defending NBA champions
  • Considered by opponents, ‘Hollywood as hell’
  • Head coach turning 43 years old during year
  • Team featured 3 certain Hall of Fame players
  • One player on team with 18 years experience
  • Ranked 5th in the league in points per game
  • Ranked 2nd in league in offensive rating
  • Ranked 9th in league in defensive rating
  • Swept 1st round opponent
  • Pushed to 7 games in the Conference Finals
  • Joe Crawford would officiate 2 games in Finals
  • Assistant coach Ron Rothstein sat courtside in Finals
  • Undisputed best player in Finals on team
  • Opponent’s best player a point guard
  • Lost Finals opener at home
  • Routed in 1st Finals road loss
  • Lost Finals game 5 on road by 10
  • Each road team had won once in the Finals

How things ended for the 1988 Los Angeles Lakers.

  • Won game 6 at home by 1 point
  • Won game 7 at home by 3 points
  • Best player was not Finals MVP

Below, see a re-post from July 2010. How Pat and Dwyane plotted the current Heat dynasty, aka The Meeting That Made The Decision Possible

DISSOLVE TO: A garden, somewhere outside Schenectady:

So … Reinsdorf will move against you first. He’ll set up a meeting with someone that you absolutely trust … guaranteeing your ability to speak freely. And at that meeting, you’ll be setup over this whole tampering business [Pat drinks from a glass of wine as Dwyane watches him]. I like to drink wine more than I used to, anyways not as much as that Barkley fellow, but I’m drinking more….

It’s good for you, Pat.

PAT O’RILEY (after a long pause)
I hope you don’t mind the way I … I keep going over this Reinsdorf business…

No, not at all….

Oh well, eh … I want you to arrange to have someone check all the tweets that go in and out of your account ’cause the NSA ain’t got squat on Stern….

I did it already, Pat.

Oh, that’s right … I forgot.

What’s the matter? What’s bothering you? [Then, after the Pat doesn’t answer.] I’ll handle it. I told you I can handle it, I’ll handle it.

PAT O’RILEY (as he stands)
I knew that James was going to have to go through all this. And Bosh, well, [he sits besides Dwyane], Bosh is Bosh…. But I never, … I never wanted this … sharing the spotlight for you. I work my whole post-LA & NY life, I don’t apologize, to take care of the Arison’s. And I’ve refused … to be a fool [Beasley pick aside] … dancing on the string, held by all those — capologists. I don’t apologize … that’s my life … but I thought that … that when it was your time … that … that you would be the one to hold the strings. Mutiple-MVP’s Wade, first owner-player Wade, or … something …

A Lebron succeeding in Cleveland …

… or a Tiger without the missing windshield … there just weren’t enough bad GM’s, Dwyane. Just weren’t enough bad GM’s …

We’ll get there, Pat, … we’ll get there….

Uh… Now listen, whoever comes to you with this Reinsdorf meeting … he’s the traitor. Don’t forget that.

About Jorge Costales

- Cuban Exile [veni] - Raised in Miami [vidi] - American Citizen [vici]
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2 Responses to If Bizarro NBA season continues …

  1. Luis N. Perez says:

    I see what you did there

    Luis N. Perez

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