Why the Amish don’t have mustaches

Clearly, I am referring to the men.

Anyways, I was flipping through the Miami Herald yesterday and spot a full-page ad for an Amish ‘Miracle’ Heater. Their uniformity of appearance triggered my curiosity and within 3 seconds unproductive neurons planted the the mustache question in my brain. The web and my lack of discipline being what they are, within 43 seconds I had my answer. Then the fun began, they have a web site, a toll-free number and a 30-day satisfaction guaranteed warranty. This was weird on many levels;

  1. Yes, they can justify the web site because they don’t maintain it. I’m sure this distinction was inspired during the Clinton years.
  2. I’m hoping the Herald ad was part of a national ad buy, otherwise some black hats will have to roll over pushing the heater idea for the South Florida market.
  3. Post Title question – A long beard is the mark of an adult Amishman. Mustaches, on the other hand, have a long history of being associated with the military, and therefore are forbidden among the Amish people.
  4. It’s hard to see, but in the ad picture, an Amish worker in the background had the following crocheted on the back of her bonnet, ‘McCain reminds me of W.’ It’s been that kind of week for the McCain campaign….

About Jorge Costales

- Cuban Exile [veni] - Raised in Miami [vidi] - American Citizen [vici]
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