In a stunning development, the Church of Scientology has decided to spin off its core beliefs into a separate entity whose relationship with Scientology would only exist through monitored arm’s length transactions. The new company, Thetan But Not Beaten [TBNB] Group LLC, is expected to be a major player in the video game and kids clothing market this coming holiday season.

The coming out event for the new entity will be an animation sensation as an Avatar version of Xenu — from Scientology’s version of the Galactic Confederacy, as opposed to the Lego’s version — will face a live version of Zena, Warrior Princess, on pay-per-view television. While the ground rules have yet to be developed, UFC® and MMA® are in negotiations with the TBNB Group.

From Celebrity Center to Revenue Center — How Scientology Intends to Turn a Negative into a Positive [Cash Flow]

In business, staying ahead of the curve is a necessary survival instinct. Scientology, which has been able to turn it’s willingness to abuse the legal system and celebrity actors — a group whose members are not distinguished by their intellectual capacity or emotional stability — into a shield which allows them just enough room to run their worldwide scam. However, given the recent court defeats in France and Germany, combined with Tom Cruise’s decline in popularity — culminating with his appearance in Tropic Thunder — it seemed likely that a corporate, as opposed to eschatological, end of days was approaching.

Which is why industry analysts are agog over how Scientology may potentially have turned their never ending embarrassment over their beliefs into an annual 750 million dollar revenue bonanza. The IRS approval of the proposed corporate structures is believed to have been heavily influenced by the IRS’s experience, and capitulation to, Scientology’s guerrilla tactics when obtaining tax exempt status during the Clinton Administration. To say that the Scientology crowd does not take no’s well is an understatement.

The structure of the new entities will allow Scientology to charge the TBNB Group a licensing fee for the likeness of Xenu, while still maintaining their non-profit status. The Thetan But Not Beaten Group, despite being expected to gross upwards of $750 million dollars in the coming year, is not expected to pay any taxes as a result of the approved fee structure.

Xenu, We Hardly Knew Ya

I see Lafayette Ronald Hubbard as a worthy predecessor to Oliver Stone as a storyteller. When Stone couldn’t decide who to blame for the JFK assassination in his movie, he just blamed everyone. Similarly, when Hubbard was making up his science fiction stories, the ‘maybe I should make this remotely believable’ factor was noticeably absent. But that was just a warm up. Turning those stories in a ‘belief system’ was a task worthy of an Ahmadinejad denying the Holocaust, as the graphand the following bullet points might suggest:

• Xenu was the dictator of the Galactic Confederacy who brought billions of his people to Earth in a DC-8-like spacecraft, stacked them around volcanoes and killed them using hydrogen bombs.
• The essences of these many people remained, and that they form around people in modern times, causing them spiritual harm.
• These events are known as Incident II, and the traumatic memories associated with them as The Wall of Fire or the R6 implant.
• The story of Xenu is part of Scientologist teachings about extraterrestrial civilizations and alien interventions in Earthly events, collectively described as space opera by Hubbard.
• The Xenu story is part of the Church of Scientology’s secret Advanced Technology normally only revealed to members who have already contributed large amounts of money.

For an animated glimpse into Scientology, please check out this episode of South Park:

• Trapped in the Closet – Season 9 – an actual explanation of Scientology’s beliefs begins at 11:15 and runs 2 minutes – if nothing else, there is an A.J. Feeley reference at the beginning of the episode from 2006 – must see TV!

On a more serious note, read the recent reporting from the St. Petersburg Times on how Scientology operates. Also, those noted haters, the Carnegie Mellon’s School of Computer Science, has devoted space on it’s web site to gather data which documents Scientology’s efforts to intimidate the IRS, in the process of obtaining their non-for-profit exemption.