In a surprise announcement, President Barack Obama was named the NBA rookie of the year for the upcoming 2009-2010 NBA season. While Obama is not officially on any NBA rooster, the vote comes after some spirited pickup games at the White House yesterday, which left all observers in awe. NBA Commissioner David Stern conceded that the selection might be viewed as controversial in some circles, but he urged all Americans to ‘reject the politics of hate and disbelief.’

The person expected to have competed for the Rookie award, the overall first pick in the draft Blake Griffin, immediately called to congratulate Obama. Asked to comment whether he was disappointed, Griffin stated that ‘while he always dreamed of being the first bi-racial player to win the award, he understood the importance of all of humanity lining up behind Obama, whatever that may entail.’ Griffin further disclosed that he had only agreed to sign with the woeful Clippers after Obama had called and asked him to do so for the sake of the multiplier effects his personal spending could have on the economy.’

Rounding out the trinity of surprise announcements today, first-year grad student Quintus Pfuffnick won the Nobel Prize in Economics.