Jack Woltz, prior to Khartoum losing his head

… a man in my position can’t afford to be made to look ridiculous

U2 – I’ll Go Crazy If I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight

Pity the nation that won’t listen to your boys and girls
Cos the sweetest melody is the one we haven’t heard
Is it true that perfect love drives out all fear?
The right to appear ridiculous is something I hold dear
Oh, but a change of heart comes slow

Point to U2 — with an assist to Tom Hagen and the Husqvarna Group — lesson learned.

—————————————————————–
Letter mailed on October 7th
—————————————————————–
U2 – Attn Larry Mullen, Jr.
Principle Management
250 West 57th Street
Suite 2120
New York, NY 10107
USA

October 7th, 2009

Dear Mr Mullen, Jr.

I turned 50 earlier this year and put off having a party to mark the occasion until I lost 30 pounds or thought of a good idea to justify the party. Gratefully, the idea came quicker than the weight loss, which is proving problematic, but that’s a whole other letter.

I would appreciate it if your band would come and play at my birthday party. When I say ‘your band,’ I’m not down on any of the others, but hey, it was your idea, your ad and y’all met at your house, please…. So in a sense, the only thing pro-bono about this request would be your fees [joke].

I have tentatively selected the date of March 18th, 2010. It’s the Thursday right before Spring Break [I wanted to make sure my kids could make it] and thankfully coincides with a fairly limited NHL and NBA schedule for that night. I checked and your band doesn’t have a concert that date, so hopefully there won’t be conflicts at your end. But I know these things can change [I have a cousin who once dated a roadie].

We would be incredibly grateful and appreciative if your band could make it. Of course, there would be no restrictions on what you chose to play. But if, and truly only if no one if offended, please stay away from the Zooropa period material.

God Bless

Jorge Costales